Being Single
Published by Stanley Pouw in 2025 · 19 October 2025
What does the Bible have to say about being single? And how are we to understand singleness, this unique design by God for some of you? We all are aware of the fact that God has designed the relationship of marriage to be the most common expression of human life in an intimate social way. And marriage is the only relationship in which sexual intimacy can take place at all. It is God's design and God's gift.
God designed that some people be unmarried. And that too fits into God's will and God's purpose. And to see what God says about that, I ask you to turn to 1 Corinthians 7. A noble, excellent godly man was Paul, and a single man as well. For he writes in verse 7, "Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am, however, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I, but if they do not have self-control, let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn with desire. Here Paul tells us that he is single with great blessings to the degree that he could wish that the unmarried, those who are divorced and those who are widows, it is good for them if they remain as they are to serve God.
Paul is here offering himself as an example of the fulfillment of being single. Since the apostle includes himself in a discussion of the unmarried and the widowed, it is very likely that he has been married but no longer is. Most likely his wife had died. Some have suggested that because he was a member of the Sanhedrin he would have at once had to have been married since that was a requirement.
What Paul is saying here is that singleness is not incompleteness necessarily. In verse 7 he says, "I wish that all men were single as I am single because it has so many pluses." However, he is very understanding, "Each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that." That is it is a gift of God to be able to live singly. I wish that all could enjoy the blessings of singleness but such gift God has not given to all.
Singleness is a very special benediction from the Spirit of God for His glory and the advancement of the Kingdom and the blessing of the church. Listen to verse 25, "Now about virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is faithful.” There is nothing in the gospel record regarding the teaching of Jesus in which He refers to the benefits of singleness.
But I can give you a viewpoint as one who by the mercy of the Lord can be trusted. I am the representative of the Lord. I speak the truth as the Spirit of God reveals it to me. I can be trusted to give you wise counsel. And that wise counsel comes in verse 26, “Because of the present distress, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.” That's what he said in verse 8, “it is good for them, to remain even as I.am.”
Now some of you have the gift of singleness and are most suitable to you. Some of you are in the condition of singleness though you are positive you don't have the gift. Some of you are not married and you don't like it. You are divorced and you don't like it. You are widowed and you don't like it. Nonetheless, in the current state you must understand the benefits that come to you if only for the short term.
There are five reasons why it is good to be single. Number one, the first benefit of being single is the pressure of the system. Now he talks about virgins who would be those who never married. And he says, "It is good because of the present distress. It is good for a man to remain as he is." "Because of the present distress" denotes the tensions that exist between the new creation and the fallen kosmos or the situation on earth.
There is the present distress that comes against God's people. Paul is thinking of painful and violent distress that may come at any time on anyone who confesses Jesus Christ as Lord. He's really talking about the imminent persecution that is going to fall upon the Corinthians in this case. He says in 2 Corinthians, to wake up every day and have the realization that it could be his last day because he would be executed.
Paul was beaten, he was shipwrecked, he was whipped, he was robbed and stoned and left for dead. Realizing the implications of all of that on a loving wife and loving children, he could see the value of being single. The days of persecution were escalating and he knew it. And a married person with a family would have far more intense suffering, far more intense sorrow, far more intense loss in the circle of that family.
It would be within fifteen years from the writing of this letter that the first general persecution by the Roman Emperor Nero would break out against Christians. Erastus, the chamberlain, that's a city official of Corinth, was among those who perished in this persecution. Now that shows us that the distress did indeed come right into the city of Corinth and take one of the Christians there and perhaps many more.
And when that persecution began, it lasted for over 200 years. Now he doesn't want to be misunderstood so in verse 27 he says, "Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife." Somebody might say, "Well, I want to go the whole route as a believer, I want to be unencumbered fully, so I'll divorce my wife." But Paul says if you are married do not get a divorce.
You don't need to make this point to the widows because they're already without a partner. But you do need to make it to those who are married and those who are divorced. If you're married, stay that way. If you're divorced and now single, stay that way. Now you say, "Well that's fine for the apostle Paul living in a time of impending violence and distress and disaster and persecution, but what about us?"
In parts of the world this is a practical teaching because there are more Christians being executed for the gospel of Christ today than at any time in the church's history. Who knows what hostilities may escalate in parts of the world which now are havens for the church where no physical persecution occurs? The writer of the Revelation, John knows, who tells us that at the end time there will be massive persecution.
When you read the words of our Lord in the Olivet Discourse in Matthew 24 - 25, the end of the age is characterized by wars, famine, disease, earthquakes, persecution and hostility. The worst of it happens, after the church is taken out. We live in a rough world and I think many of us certainly have thoughts even about not only marriage, but about having children when we realize what lies ahead in this society.
We would all agree as Christians that the nearer we come to the end of the age, the higher the price we'll pay for our witness. And if evil men continue to grow worse as 1 Timothy says they will, and if apostasy runs wild and if the heat of Satan's battle begins to increase and persecution rises, it will be least complex for those who are single. So, stay single, appreciate the benefit because of the world system around you.
Second reason that we can look positively at singleness is the problems of the flesh. Verse 28, “However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.” Paul is saying if you marry, that's not sin. Marriage is still the majority state. It is still an institution of God. But those who marry will have trouble.
What trouble is he talking about? He's talking about trouble that comes when you have to live intimately with a sinner. Marriage is an intensely intimate relationship, as we all understand. It is the most intimate of all human relationships. And while in, it has trouble and it has trouble because you have put two sinful people so close together. And that's trouble that comes from our humanness, it comes from our sinfulness.
And what you've got in a marriage is two sinners pressed together. And in that intimacy where we are less than perfect, there's going to be some trouble. Trouble that wouldn't be there if you weren't married. And when you press two sinners together, there's trouble. Occasionally there's anger, selfishness, childishness, stupidity, forgetfulness, dishonesty, deception, pride, thoughtlessness and self-centeredness.
And I would suggest to you and with no fear of contradiction that the most miserable people in the world are not single. It's true. The most miserable people in the world are married. That does not mean that all married people are miserable. The potential for misery in marriage is greater than the potential for misery being single because when you're single there's only one person who can make you miserable.
When they have children, more little sinners are crushed into the mix. As a father I not only have to deal with sin and temptation in my own life, but I have to shepherd my wife and all my children, and all my little sinning grandchildren. And when they're all together, at one time, it is a ministerial monstrosity. You can just about ask anybody who is married if they've ever had trouble, it is part of any married life.
Do not look at marriage as the solution to your trouble. It probably is the multiplication of it. Sometimes young people say, "You know, I have strong desires sexually and if I can just get married." That is not in itself a sufficient reason to get married. Even after marriage there is no guarantee that your elicit temptation will go away. And the fulfillment you find in your marriage doesn't satisfy unrighteous longings.
Thirdly, Paul says singleness is a benefit because of the passing of the world. Verse 29, 30, 31, “The time is limited, so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none. 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they didn’t own anything, 31 and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it.
For this world in its current form is passing away.” Marriage has no relationship to eternity. And Paul says the time is short, not the chronology, this season is passing away. What is your life? Just a vapor. And marriage is a part of that very short vapor, it's a part of that very brief time. It suits us wonderfully and richly for this life but has no connection to eternity. It is God's design that we attach lightly to earthly things.
Well, will I not love my partner in heaven? Of course, but you'll have perfect love toward everyone. "Will I not know my partner?" Of course with perfect knowledge. But the relationship you have now for physical fulfillment, for procreation and for joy is part of temporal life. Marriage will give way to heavenly family life with God the Father, Christ the husband and all believers as the wife.
Weeping will cease because God's going to wipe away all tears. Earthly joy will fade into an eternal joy. Buying will cease since we will inherit everything in the entire new heaven and new earth. And worldly pleasure simply means who extract out of it all the fun and all the pleasure and all the fulfillment that it can yield, that will be replaced by the thrills of everlasting life in the presence of God and Jesus Christ.
You don't want materialism to distract you from your spiritual life. You know, Christian people in our contemporary scene today spend an undue amount of time working on their marriage instead of a healthy amount of time working on their spiritual life which takes care of their marriage. The Godlier and the more Christ-like I am, the better it is to live with me and the more fulfilling and the more enjoyable life is.
Marriage is a sacred thing. It is a picture of Christ's relationship to the church, but it becomes what it ought to be when two people are totally devoted to Jesus Christ. When I pursue Christ it takes care of my human emotions. When I pursue Christ it puts material things in the right perspective. When I concentrate on the eternal the passing things on this earth will be as fulfilling as God intended them.
Number four, the preoccupation of the marriage. In verse 32 Paul says, “I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.” But verse 33 says, “But the married man is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife.” The emphasis shifts from human pressures to the spiritual dimension of Godly pressure.
Paul says in verse 34, “And his interests are divided. The unmarried woman is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” Verse 35, “I am saying this for your own benefit, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.”
I don't want people who are single to think they're super spiritual. And it's not automatic. Not all single people have undistracted devotion to the Lord. That is a potential that can be and should be fulfilled. So, Paul says there are reasons to be single. There are benefits to being single if you can handle it. If you have the gift, if you're old enough, if for the time you are single, look at these benefits as blessings from God.
Verses 36-38 say, “If any man thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, if she is getting beyond the usual age for marriage, and he feels he should marry—he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart to keep her as his fiancée, will do well. 38 So, then, he who marries his fiancée does well, but he who does not marry will do better.”
Number five, it is good to be single because of the permanence of the union. Verses 39- 40 says, “A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, in my opinion. And I think that I also have the Spirit of God.” The point is, marriage is permanent. God hates divorce, but divorce does happen.
But marriage can be the most wonderful and the most fulfilling and the richest and most blessed of partnerships, and it is for life. I'm glad I'm married. I thank God for my wife continually because of God's grace through all these years. It is also true that God has allowed us through our marriage and family to demonstrate from time to time what a good marriage and a godly family should look like. Let us pray.