Morality versus Relationship
Published by Stanley Pouw in 2013 · 26 May 2013
Let us look now at Matthew 12:43-50, the last section of this great chapter. The Pharisees were moralists who were committed to ethics, standards, principles of life and morals. They lived by a complex and demanding ethical moral code. But in the process of their moral pursuit, they rejected God Himself, who was in their midst in human form.
They cleaned up their lives outwardly, and they convinced themselves that they were righteous, moral, and good. Consequently, when someone came along preaching the message of sin, they were not interested in listening. Jesus could not reach the religious, self-righteous, moral people who were under the illusion that everything was OK. They recognized no sin, so they needed no Savior.
That is always the danger of morality. Morality creates an illusion of safety when in fact the person who is moral may be in the greatest danger of all. We see this particularly among the Mormons, who feel so secure because of their morality when in fact, they are under the judgment of God and it is so hard to convince them.
Chapter 12 concludes, beginning in verse 43, with our Lord's response to that ultimate rejection. The purpose of this section is very simple. It is to warn the people not to listen to the Pharisees and moralists, but to come to Jesus Christ, and there is a big difference. On the one hand, you have morality; on the other hand, you have a relationship. Those are the two points we should talk about - morality versus relationship.
Morality, in and of itself, is a dangerous thing. Self-righteousness is a damning thing. You'd be better off to be immoral and face the reality of your need for a Savior, than to live under the illusion that because you have a moral code on the outside, all is well on the inside between you and God.
Let's begin by looking at Matthew 12: 43-45, “When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. 44 Then he says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. 45 Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation.”
Here in this parable, the Lord Jesus gives us the results of morality, the results of the ethical, religious approach. Verse 43, "When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none." The main character is an unclean spirit, a demon, a fallen angel who is vile, wretched and wicked.
Do you know that some demons are more wicked than others? That is indicated to us in verse 45, where it tells that when this demon returns, he comes with seven others that are more wicked than himself. This simply means that demons vary from vile and wretched to most those vile and most wretched.
So there is, dwelling in this man, a vile, unclean, demonic spirit. This tells us that this is where they like to be; this is an insight into the fact that these beings live in men. In this case, this one goes out of a man for a while. It doesn't tell us how, but we will see the best explanation as we move through the story.
So the evil spirit has gone out, he leaves the man and then walks through dry places seeking rest. It says that there is a restlessness with this spirit; he seeks refreshment and rest, but cannot find it. This disembodied demon is at rest only when he can find a place back in a human life. This is a very important for us to note, because our Lord is saying that demons go in and out of men and seem to be more at home in them than out of them.
Jesus concludes in verse 44, "Then he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.'" That is an interesting statement, 'my house.' There is a sense in which the demon perceived that that human being was his own dwelling place. Demons not only function within men, but apparently they take up a permanent residence there, because we see that in the term 'my house.'
So he went back. Verse 44, "And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order." This is the key to understanding what is going on in this parable. Why did the demon leave in the first place? This was an unclean demon because it says so. Most likely, the man went through some kind of a moral reformation. In some way, he cleaned up his act, and got rid of some evil vices.
There are men and women that do that. They can try to stop doing evil and try to clean up their act. That is why we have New Year's resolutions and calls to improved physical and moral behavior. Even criminals at times may try to stop their life of crime and try to live a respectable life for a while.
Sometimes they are responding to the fear of prison or of death, or pressure from people they love and care about. Sometimes they may be responding to religious pressure. It is very possible that this could have been an individual out of whom even Lord Jesus had sent this demon, because our Lord healed people who were not necessarily saved. Remember the ten lepers that He healed, only one came back and was redeemed.
The Lord is illustrating here an external kind of cleansing, a moral reformation, a kind of 'cleaning up your act' approach. This is what had happened as a result of the ministry of John the Baptist. When John the Baptist came preaching repentance, they were not receiving the Lord Jesus Christ, they were just cleaning up to get ready to receive Him.
They were sweeping out their spiritual house and getting their lives right in anticipation of the coming of Messiah. But when the Messiah came, the vast majority of the people never let Him in. So they sat there, all cleaned up and adorned, but refusing the entrance of the Messiah.
The result of it all is in verse 45, "Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first." Those people never let Christ come in to fill the empty place and the result was that their condition became worse.
The key word is at the end of this verse: empty. That is outward cleansing only, but Christ never comes in. They would not receive Christ. Theirs was a superficial, external morality, with no place for Christ. Many of them had come to John the Baptist and repented and been baptized. And the Pharisees were preaching the gospel of morality without Christ.
The empty house, then, speaks of the spiritual vacuum that is created when people get moral but do not know Christ. The reason it is more dangerous than immorality is because it says right here, from the lips of our Lord, that instead of just having one unclean spirit, you might get eight devils back. A self-righteous, moral person can become the victim of Satan even more than an immoral person.
How is this worse than to be moral?" When a person becomes self-righteous and moral, he then loses the sense of fearfulness about evil, and feels himself beyond the activity of Satan so that Satan can come in with many demons, without that individual ever being aware, or prepared to deal with it.
Notice in verse 45, it says, "They enter and dwell there," which means 'to settle down and be at home.' They come in and find their permanent place in the heart of a moral person. Better the person should have been immoral and know deep down that he has to change than to be living under the illusion of morality and be demon-infested.
Listen to the words of Jesus in Matthew 23:15, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.”
Jesus didn't preach morality; He preached salvation, repentance from sin. God is not interested in making America moral without Christ; all that will do is give them a false sense of security and maybe increase their potential for damnation. It is easier to reach someone who is overwhelmed with their sense of sin than to reach someone who is proud of their righteousness, right?
Morality is like taking a big hog out of the muck, giving her a bath, painting her toenails, putting a ribbon on her neck, and letting her loose. She'll go back to the slop she came from because there is no change in her nature. People who escape the pollutions on the outside may intensify their damnation because they are empty inside.
That takes us from the word morality to a second word that is very important here, and that is the word relationship, starting in verse 46. Morality is not salvation or regeneration or redemption. In order to have a true redemption and regeneration, there must be a right relationship. So the Lord finishes with a beautiful invitation, and it was made possible in the setting there by the arrival of Jesus' family, His mother and brothers.
Matthew 12:46-50, “While He was still talking to the multitudes, behold, His mother and brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with Him. 47 Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.” 48 But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” 49 And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”
It says in John 7:5 that His brothers didn't believe He was the Messiah, but certainly they cared for Him. Mary knew, and she loved Him. And the word that perhaps came back to them was that Jesus had really gone too far now. Now He was giving these terrifying rebukes to the leaders. In Mark 3:21-22, it tells us that the friends of Jesus reported that He had become mentally unbalanced.
Mary and His brothers came, probably prompted by Mary, on a sort of rescue mission to try and get Him out of the situation into which He was getting Himself so deeply entrenched. They knew He was being accused of terrifying things; they could see the imminence of His death and wanted to help, so they came.
Verse 47, "Then one said to Him, 'Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.'" That could be embarrassing, a grown man, and to be teaching and full of authority against these scribes, Pharisees, and unbelievers with the blistering, dramatic language of judgment.
But it wasn't for Jesus, because, as always, He was the master of every occasion, of every situation. This was not a time for mothers and brothers to dominate His life, even though they cared for and loved Him; this was a time for preaching a message that needed to be preached, and they gave Him His opportunity.
In verse 48, Jesus answers, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" This does not mean that He is denying His family, or that He didn't love them, because on the cross, the one great thing that He does in terms of taking care of what's left on earth is to be sure that Mary is given to John so that he can care for her. So we know He loved them.
But He is teaching that earthly, physical relationships are not the most important part for Him. In other words, "Who is really related to Me? Who is really in My family? Who really has any intimacy with Me? Who can really put demands on Me regarding responsibility and fellowship?”
In verse 49, He answers His own question, "And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, 'Here are My mother and My brothers!'" He's saying, "Do you want to know who is related to Me? Here they are. My disciples are related to Me; they are My spiritual family." That is the real family that matters.
This was to Mary and His brothers an invitation as well. Mary had to be redeemed just like everyone else; that's why then the angel gave her the message, and she thanked God her Savior. And so did His brothers. This was a broad invitation to all who were there. He was saying, "A relationship with Me is a spiritual issue. These who believe in Me are related to Me.”
So how do you get that kind of relationship? How does that happen? In verse 50 He simplifies it with a beautiful statement, "For whoever," and aren't you glad that word is there? Whoever; there is no limit on that term, "does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”
That is a great truth. Jesus says, "To be related to Me is not a physical thing, it's a spiritual thing. The next question is, "How do we get into that relationship?" And Jesus says, "By doing the will of My Father." Notice He put in there, "The will of My Father who is in Heaven." They were asking for a sign from Heaven. The Father had given them a sign from Heaven, and that's why He says, “Doing the will of the Father in Heaven.”
I'll show you what it is. Back up to Matthew 3:17. At the baptism of the Lord Jesus Christ, we hear the voice of the Father, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.'" So the will of the Father in Heaven is that the people on earth acknowledge Jesus Christ as His Son.
Look at Matthew 18:11. This is a great bible passage that expresses the Father's will, "For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost." Jesus said, "I have come to do the will of Him who sent Me." Here He said, "I have come to save men." Therefore, the will of He that sent Him is to save men. Doing the will of the Father in Heaven, then, is coming to salvation in Christ.
It isn't what you say, it is what you do; and doing the will of the Father is believing in the Lord Jesus Christ and receiving the gift of salvation that He offers. That is the invitation of Matthew 12. In Acts 4:12, the apostles say; "Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”
There are plenty of people calling for morality, but we are calling for a relationship with Jesus Christ. And out of that relationship comes true morality, as generated and affected and maintained by the power of the Holy Spirit. Do you have that relationship with Jesus? You can have that today. Bow with me in prayer.