Choosing Christ over family
Published by Stanley Pouw in 2013 · 27 January 2013
So, a true disciple, a true Christian is one who is not afraid of the world. He is so committed to the Lordship of Christ that he's not afraid of what men might do to him, and he favors the Lord. When he comes to the point of having to witness, he will confess and not deny Jesus Christ no matter what it costs him.
Now let's go to a third sign of a true disciple, a true Christian forsakes his family. In Matthew 10:34, our Lord says, “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.” Now this is a most dramatic statement.
In other words Jesus says - Some of you who are real will confess Me when you have to face men in day to day life and when you are brought before the courts of men. Some of you will deny Me because it is not that important to you and you prefer to save your reputation and your life.
Jesus says, that just proves that I have come to bring a sword, I cause divisions. I force people to make decisions that will separate one from another. The very fact that some confess Christ and some deny Christ proves that My coming back will cause war.
Now the Jews figured out from the Old Testament that when the Messiah came He was coming to bring peace. And we understand that because that is part of it. And as Jesus is speaking to His disciples, they had already begun to experience the peace in their hearts that came from having a relationship with Jesus.
But Jesus wanted them to understand that there is more than that view. So the Lord says - Don't be under the illusions that I just bring peace. I did not come not to bring peace, but a sword. And here we have again a paradox. The Lord is saying on the one hand – I am the Prince of Peace, but on the other hand there is going to be a sword.
Even in the Old Testament this was foretold. Micah 7:6 describes the time the Lord comes, “For son dishonors father, daughter rises against her mother, daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own household.” The intervention of God in history through the incarnation of Christ is going to split the world into parties that will be pitted against one another.
In fact, Martin Luther said: "If our gospel were received in peace, it wouldn't be the true gospel." And he saw it divide. When he preached the truth in the Catholic Church the result was not peace, it created the biggest rift in the history of religion. It effectively shattered the Catholic Church and started the Protestant Reformation.
Now, verse 34 is paradoxical because when the angels proclaimed His birth they said, "peace on earth." And Jesus in John 14:27 said, "My peace I give to you." And in John 16:33 He said, "In the world you'll have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I've overcome the world," and again promised them peace.
Oh yes, the first coming brought a partial peace, that being the peace that comes to the hearts of those who believe. But the Lord says - just remember this as you go out, you are going to cause division, a real separation. The Gospel does that, it is the refiner's fire that burns away unbelief. When Christ came a war broke out.
Luke 12:49-53 says, “I came to send fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 51 Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all, but rather division. 52 For from now on five in one house will be divided: three against two, and two against three. 53 Father will be divided against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”
If you are a true disciple, you would be willing to follow Jesus in your own home even if your family does not agree, this is difficult right? Because that's the place you want the peace and intimacy. Those are the people you love. Look at Matthew 10:35, and here is how Jesus says it: "For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’.”
Now this is a most difficult verse. It's not so bad when you are at odds with your neighbor or your boss, or your friend, or your acquaintance, but when it gets into the family and your commitment to Jesus Christ means that you are going against your family, that's really tough.
Jesus says that there is no other relationship that is more important than the relationship with Him. And following Jesus Christ may mean that you have created a big division in your own home. But that's the mark of a true disciple.
There are wives that will not come to Christ for fear of separation from their husband. There may be husbands who will not come to Christ for fear of separation from their wives. There are children who will not come to Christ for fear of their fathers or mothers and visa versa.
What we are talking about is the Lordship of Christ, becoming a Christian is affirming your commitment that Christ is your Lord, your absolute master, to the point where you forsake everything. It isn't just sticking up your hand, signing a card, walking down an aisle and saying - I love Jesus. It is by faith where the manifestation of true faith is a commitment that cannot be swayed by anything.
Matthew 10:36 says: “a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.” That's true. Christ came to bring a sword, even in your house. And then verse 37, "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”
Jesus says, “You cannot receive salvation if your family means more than Me.” You must choose. And sometimes that choice is about your own life. You might want to be willing to take Christ and lose your family, but would you be willing to take Christ and lose your life?
Now we are getting serious about who is a Christian, aren't we? And so we say the true disciple does not fear the world, favors the Lord, forsakes the family, and fourthly, a true disciple follows the call. Matthew 10:38 says, “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.”
Now you have heard many devotionals or sermons on “bearing your cross, or taking up your cross.” And you heard so many definitions of what the cross means, like my wife is my cross or my husband is my cross. Or a teacher that drives you crazy, or your neighbor, or your boss is your cross. No, none of those are your cross.
When Jesus said - Take up your cross, the Jews knew immediately what He meant. He was talking about dying on the cross. When Judas of Galilee led a rebellion and tried to overthrow the Romans, they were crushed. And the Roman general Varus wanted to do something so they would never try that again so he crucified over two thousand Jews.
And he put their crosses up and down all the roads of Galilee so everywhere the people went they saw them hanging on these crosses along the roadside. And every Jew that was crucified had to carry their cross for his own execution on his back after he marched to the cross. And these Galileans all remember that.
So Jesus is talking to them in a historical context and He is saying - he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. And He is saying - You take up your cross, means: you must follow me and go to the most painful death imaginable.
Now remember this, total self denial is to the point of death. The Lord is really focusing on who is a true Christian. And now Jesus teaches that we should prefer death for His sake more than life for our sake. And this is the example He gave: He died on the cross for our salvation.
Then Christ adds this rich thought in Matthew 10:39, “He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” In finding you life, in securing your physical life and focusing on this world you just lost your soul. But, if you are willing to lose your life for My sake, you will really find eternal life in the end.
The one who confesses Jesus Christ and dies for it is far better off than the apostate, the unbeliever who stays alive by denying Christ and who receives eternal damnation. It is better to lose your comfort and to be persecuted by the world, it is better to even lose your family, it is better to even lose your life than to forsake Jesus Christ.
And praise God, it is not that we will necessarily have to do all these things, but if we are real disciples and if the situation requires this we are willing to do it. See, up to now its all been kind of negative. Isn't there a positive? Sure there is and the text ends on a positive note, and it is quite thrilling.
Number five, Matthew 10:40 says, -a true disciple fosters rewards. We do have a positive effect. You see, we are the destiny-determiners in the world. When we bring the sword that separates, on the one hand are the unbelievers, but on the other hand are the believers. And when we preach and when we live and when we give our testimony, some become believers, don't they?
And for them Christ is so positive. Not everyone is going to refuse the message of the disciple, some are going to believe, some are going to receive their Lord. And since we have no ability to reward their faith, the Lord will do it for us. Look at Matthew 10:40, “He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.”
When you represent Jesus Christ and you present the Gospel, the people who believe it are the ones who receive you. And when some receive you, they are receiving the Lord. And the ones receiving the Lord are receiving the One who sent the Lord. You become an agency of men receiving God Himself.
It goes even beyond that. Matthew 10:41, “He who receives a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward. And he who receives a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward.” When you go out representing God by your life and by your speaking and your living, those who receive you will also receive the reward that you receive.
What does that mean? That just means exactly what it says. Anyone who presents Christ, the one who receives will share the presenter’s reward. If the Lord gives to me a reward for proclaiming Him to you, Jesus will give you the same reward for receiving. And we all share.
So, I then become a means for your blessedness. You want to be a blessing in the world? Then confess Christ before men. Then stand up boldly and do not mitigate your testimony and don't be ashamed of Christ. And let your life become the source of their reward.
When you think of prophets and righteous men you think of maybe classy people. But the Lord gives us a wonderful thought in Matthew 10:42, “And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.”
Who are the little ones here? They are the new disciples. And that was what the twelve were right then, they still were a bunch of unproven nothings. Remember the beginning of Matthew 10? They were nobodies.
And Jesus says - When you see people who proclaim the Gospel, you can demonstrate that you receive it by giving them a cup of cold water. People then will be rewarded when they believe our message because they will be saved. They will be rewarded because they will share in the very reward we have proclaimed.
Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is pretty fantastic. You become the source of conflict for the majority of people in the world, and a source of blessing for the minority portion. And you and I who are followers of Christ, we have become the reason of much warfare in the world. We become the plumb lines for God in determining who will go to heaven and who will not.
I pray to God that we all are willing to follow the Lordship of Christ at any price, so that many people may be antagonized and some may be blessed. The challenge is not easy and that is why we continually must rely on the Holy Spirit for strength, wisdom and perseverance.
There was a missionary in India named Henry Martyn. He spent a lifetime there doing more than his share of missionary service when he announced that he was going to go to Persia because God had laid it upon his heart to translate the New Testament into the Persian language. By then he was already an old man.
They told him that if he stayed in India he would die because of the heat. And then they told him that Persia was even hotter. But he went anyway and studied the Persian language. He translated the entire New Testament in nine months. And then he was told that he could not print it until he received the Shah's permission.
So he traveled 800 miles on the back of a mule to Tehran, but he was denied permission to see the Shah. He turned around and made a 400 mile trip to find the British ambassador. The ambassador gave him the proper papers and sent him back to the Shah. And so he traveled another 400 miles, which makes 1600 miles. He rode his mule at night and rested during the daytime.
He finally arrived and was received by the Shah who gave him permission for the Scriptures to be printed and circulated in Persia. Ten days later he died. But shortly before he had written in his diary this statement: "I sat and thought with sweet comfort and peace of my God, my Companion, my Friend and Comforter in solitude." This was certainly not a life of ease but a life worth remembering.
In a real sense God may call on you and me to give our lives to build a bridge for a remnant to cross into the presence of God. And that starts right now, wherever you are, whoever you meet, in whatever situation God puts you and whatever task He gives you, Amen?