A Suffering Mother
Published by Stanley Pouw in 2010 · 9 May 2010
A mother who was killed, with her baby, while sitting with her husband in a single-engine Cessna 185 over the jungles of Peru about nine years ago. The Peruvian Air Force mistook the missionary plane for a drug plane and opened fire.
Missionary Veronica Bowers, age 35, was holding her seven-month-old daughter Charity in her lap behind MAF pilot Kevin Donaldson. With them were Veronica's husband Jim and six-year-old son Cory. The pilot's legs were shot and he put the plane into an emergency dive and amazingly landed it on a river where it sank just after they all got out.
One bullet had passed by Jim's head and made a hole in the windshield. Another bullet passed through Veronica's back and stopped inside her baby, killing them both. How do you handle the setbacks, the disappointments, the abuses, the heartaches, the calamities, the bitter providences of your life? And I ask it specifically to mothers, because to be a mother is a call to suffer.
When Jesus chose an analogy of suffering followed by joy, He said in John 16:21, "Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world."
To be a mother is a call to suffer. Not just at the beginning of life, but also at the end. Simeon said to Mary, Jesus' mother, "Behold, this Child is appointed for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and for a sign to be opposed – and a sword will pierce even your own soul" (Luke 2:34-35).
Mothers suffer when their children are born. Mothers suffer when children leave them and marry or go far away to the mission field. Mothers suffer when their children die. Mothers suffer when their children are foolish. "A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother" (Proverbs 10:1).
To be a mother is a call to suffer. Oh yes, it's more, but it's not less. So what do we do? Do we go the way of ‘openness theology’ to handle the disappointments and heartaches and calamities of life?
And follow the teachings of one popular writer, "When an individual inflicts pain on another individual, one should not go looking for 'the purpose of God' in the event . . . Christians frequently speak of 'the purpose of God' in the midst of tragedy caused by someone else. But this I regard to simply be a piously confused way of thinking."
In other words, according to them God had no particular purpose for taking Roni and Charity Bowers and leaving Jim and Cory. Were all the words of Elisabeth Elliot and Steve Saint and Jim Bowers at Roni's memorial service a "piously confused way of thinking," and no true ground for comfort and strength?
I'll tell you what they said in a moment. But first let me lay a Biblical foundation, because in the end it is not the testimony of man that settles us, but the testimony of God in his Word, through Jesus Christ.
Consider two passages of Scripture, one from the Psalms, and one from the Gospel according to Matthew. In Psalm 105 we have an inspired interpretation of an inspired Old Testament story, the story of Israel going down to Egypt preceded by Joseph, who was sold into slavery by his brothers.
We learn two crucial things from verses 16-17, "And [God] called for a famine upon the land; He broke the whole staff of bread. He sent a man before them, Joseph, who was sold as a slave." Notice two things: the governance of God over natural calamities, and the governance of God over the sinful actions of men.
It says "God called for a famine" – that is a natural calamity that came on the world. And it says, God "sent a man before them, Joseph, who was sold as a slave." That was sinful of his brothers to do, but in that sinful act God had a purpose – so much so that the psalmist called their sinning God's sending.
Just like it says in Genesis 50:20 when Joseph spoke to his brothers, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." When it says, "God meant it," it says more than, "God used it."
This is the exact opposite of what openness theology teaches. God does have good purposes, good intentions and good meanings in the hurts that others inflict on us. And we may and should take great comfort in this sovereign goodness in the setbacks and disappointments, heartaches, calamities and the bitter providences of our lives.
Then consider the words of Jesus on why missionary candidates should not fear to go to the hard and dangerous places, and why mothers should not fear to let their sons and daughters go or even take them. In Matthew 10:28- 31 Jesus prepares his disciples to get them ready for suffering:
“Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”
Notice three things. First, Jesus knows that people will kill the bodies of his missionaries. This is going to happen. But, He says in verse 28, don't fear those who can only kill the body, and can't kill the soul.
Second, He says that we don't need to fear this hostility because no sparrow falls to the ground apart from God. And you, his disciples, are more valuable than many sparrows. So how much less will you be shot out of the sky apart from God! God governs the flight of a sparrow, and God governs the flight of arrows and bullets.
This is the basis of every Bible story about the victory of God. "The horse is made ready for battle but victory belongs to the Lord" (Proverbs 21:31). Because everything that happens including bird flight and arrow flight and bullet flight belong to the Lord. This is the solid ground of our comfort in calamity: God's sovereign goodness to all who trust Him.
Now listen to the testimony of Roni Bowers' husband at his wife's memorial service – and words of Steve Saint and Elisabeth Elliot. These testimonies don't increase the authority of the Bible. But they do show the power of the Bible to sustain in a way radically different from the way openness theology tries to comfort.
Afterwards Jim Bowers stood in front of twelve hundred people in Calvary Church of Fruitport, Michigan and said, "Most of all I want to thank my God. He's a sovereign God. I'm finding that out more now. . . . Could this really be God's plan for Roni and Charity; God's plan for Cory and me and our family? I'd like to tell you why I believe so, why I'm coming to believe so."
And then he gives a long list of unlikely events in and after the shooting, and alludes to God's sending his Son to the cross. Here are some of the key sentences that only those who trust in God's sovereign care for his own will truly understand.
He said, "Roni and Charity were instantly killed by the same bullet. Would you say that's a stray bullet? And it didn't reach Kevin the pilot who was right in front of Charity; it stayed in Charity. That was a sovereign bullet. . . ."
He speaks of his forgiveness to those who shot at the plane. "How could I not," he says, “when God has forgiven me so?" Then he adds, "Those people who did that, simply were used by God. Whether you want to believe it or not, I believe it. They were used by Him, by God, to accomplish His purpose in this, maybe similar to the Roman soldiers whom God used to put Christ on the cross."
Steve Saint was at the memorial service. In 1956, when Steve was a boy, his father was speared to death by the Auca Indians of Ecuador. Steve came to the microphone and looked down at Cory, the six-year-old boy whose mother and sister had been killed.
Cory, my name is Steve. You know what? A long time ago when I was just about your size, I was in a meeting just like this. I was sitting down there and I really didn't know completely what was going on. . . . But you know, now I understand it better.
A lot of adults used a word then that I didn't understand. They used a word that's called tragedy. . . But you know, now I'm kind of an old guy, and now when people come to me and they say, "Oh I remember when that tragedy happened so long ago." I know, Cory, that they were wrong.
You see, my dad, who was a pilot like the man you probably call Uncle Kevin, and four of his really good friends had just been buried out in the jungles, and my mom told me that my dad was never coming home again.
My mom wasn't really sad. So, I asked her, "Where did my dad go?" And she said, "He went to live with Jesus." And you know, that's where my mom and dad had told me many times that we all wanted to go and live. Well, I thought, isn't that great that Daddy got to go sooner than the rest of us? And you know what? Now when people say, "That was a tragedy," I know they were wrong.
Then Steve Saint looked up at these twelve hundred people and told them the difference between the unbelieving world and the followers of Jesus. He said, "For them, the pain is fundamental and the joy is superficial because it won't last. For us, the pain is superficial and the joy is fundamental."
Why do things happen? Martyrs are used by God to bring glory to Him. The five missionaries had guns with them in their camp, but they did not use them to fight the Indians. When the Auca Indians came toward them with their spears, they did not shoot back with their guns.
They knew that if they would shoot the Indians, they could probably save their own lives. But then they would never be able to teach the Aucas about Jesus! So they chose to let themselves be killed, and let the Aucas have another chance to become Christians.
The Aucas always remembered those five strange white men who had been so kind to them and had not tried to kill them. And so a year later when more missionaries tried again to speak to the Aucas about Jesus, they were ready to listen.
Several of the men who had helped to kill Jim and his friends with their spears now became Christians. One of them gave his testimony at a meeting. He counted on his fingers and said, “I have killed twelve people with my spear! But I did that when my heart was black. Now Jesus’ blood has washed my heart clean, so I don’t live like that anymore.” God’s love had changed his life!
Finally, I want to mention what Elisabeth Elliot said to the family. You wonder what God is doing, and of course, we know that God never makes mistakes. He knows exactly what He is doing, and suffering is never for nothing.
Paul said it well in 2 Timothy 1:8-9, “Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, 9 who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.”
He has given to you, Jim, the cup of suffering, and you can share that with the Lord Jesus who said in John 18:11, "Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup the Father has given to me?"
She ended with a poem by Martha Snell Nicholson, “I stood a beggar of God before His royal throne and begged Him for one priceless gift, which I could call my own. I took the gift from out His hand, but as I would depart I cried, "But Lord this is a thorn and it has pierced my heart. This is a strange, a hurtful gift, which Thou hast given me."
He said, "My child, I give good gifts and gave My best to thee." I took it home and though at first the cruel thorn hurt sore, as long years passed I learned at last to love it more and more. I learned He never gives a thorn without this added grace, He takes the thorn to pin aside the veil which hides His face.
And if it takes a thorn to pin aside the veil – if it takes disappointment and loss and heartache and calamity and bitter providences – then, for Christ's sake, and for the sake of our joy seeing and being with Him, let it come.
How many mothers do you know that are suffering? How many mothers do you know who agonize over their children when they reject God or when they marry non- Christians? How many mothers suffer when they are forgotten by their children?
What she did is part of God’s plan in bringing you up so that you are a believer now. It does not matter what detours you took to get here or how long you forgot where God was and what sins you have committed.
You are here because in God’s plan for you before the foundation of the world where He chose you and that goes for your mother too. Forgive her if she did not raise you up to your expectations and that is also part of God’s providence, since God knows that you still have a lot to learn about forgiveness.
And thank her for all the prayers that she prayed during all these years, all the hours she worried about you and all the sacrifices she made for you that you did not appreciate. Thank her for her believe that someday you would be respond to that call of God in your life.
But above all thank God Himself for providentially providing for your mother, for arranging all the things that happened to you for your good and for His glory. At the time it happened you were disappointed and angry and now only long after the fact do you realize the hand of God protecting your mother and you all the way. Let us pray.