Divorce and Remarriage II
Published by Stanley Pouw in 2011 · 20 March 2011
Human nature is used to lowering the standard of God as to fit our lifestyle. This happened with the Jews in Jesus’ time and this also happens now with us as Christians living here on earth.
And as we study in depth the Sermon on the Mount, we learn what happens when we do that in Matthew 5:20, “For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
This is truly a shocking statement, if they who were the most religious people in Israel did not make the cut, who could? And Jesus is telling us the same truth as we live here 2000 years later.
God’s standard relates to not only our deeds from the outside, but God wants a pure heart on the inside. The Jews interpreted the Mosaic Law to be a law of externals, but God in the form of Jesus came down to earth to tell us about the attitude of the heart which is foremost.
Jesus gives us six examples in daily life of the different ways we lower God’s standard. His first example is dealing with anger and murder, his second example deals with lust and adultery and now we are dealing with divorce and remarriage for the second time this Sunday.
Jesus says in Matthew 5:31-32, “It was also said, 'whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
This is a controversial topic. Pain of divorce is witnessed everywhere inside and outside the church. To some degree all of us are affected. Statistics tell us that 50% of the church is personally affected through family, dear friends and acquaintances.
And yet the Bible is very clear on this subject. The reality is that the divorce rate is the same in the church as it is in the world. This is such a sensitive subject because many believers have lowered God’s standard. Self righteousness lowers it in order to justify our actions.
And there are 3 issues related to this that are important to remember. 1. This text is not an exhaustive treatment on this subject. There will be many question left unanswered, because Jesus purpose of the six illustration are just examples of how we as people tend to lower God’s standard.
2. The bible always assumes that there is a person who is at fault, there is a primary initiator. This is important in this no- fault culture of divorce of today. You can get an easy divorce for any reason. But don’t forget, God looks at the heart and sometimes one and sometimes both are responsible for the breakup, and they will be judged.
3. The parties involved every time are believers. In the OT it was to Israel, and in Matthew 5, this was addressed to Jesus’ disciples. And now this passage is also addressed to us as Christians. The world on the other hand does not have a standard at all, it goes everywhere with winds of the time and with whatever their flesh desires.
We should be different in the church. With the over 50% divorce rate, we’re doing a terrible job. We need to get back to the truth of Scripture and what is in God’s heart. And we need to fight all these temptations to lower His standard for righteousness in our daily life.
So what does Scripture say? Well the bottom line is: God ordained marriage to be a picture of the permanent union between Christ and the church. God never condones or approves divorce. Gen 2:24 is practically quoted at every wedding.
“A man shall leave his father and mother and to hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” There is nothing more binding than that. “And the two shall become one.” Again, permanence is emphasized.
This in the beginning was not used for Adam and Eve, because they did not have a father and mother. This is God’s plan for what marriage was to be in the future. All these are descriptive of permanence.
We need to know that marriage is part of the nature of God. And so is permanence also part of God’s nature. James 1:17 says, “In God there is no shadow of turning.” God does not change His mind about marriage in the same way He does not change His mind about saving you and me. 2 Tim 2:13 says, “If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.”
We do not look at marriage the same way. We always look at ourselves and think about our struggles and our disappointments and our pain. We always think about what we are feeling, but instead Jesus takes this back to the glory and the nature of God Himself.
He says this is not about violating your wants and desires, but this is about violating the character of the God that you worship. Jesus says from the beginning this was not so and He quotes Gen 2:24 again.
But in addition He adds, ”So they are no longer two, but one flesh! What God therefore has joined together, no man shall separate.” Two more terms of permanence, in fact this whole passage speaks of permanence.
Let me show you what God does now with that permanence in describing the purpose of marriage. Permanence is tied to purpose! God declared marriage to be permanent because of the purpose that the apostle Paul described.
He is writing in Ephesians 5:22-32 where he is comparing marriage to the relationship of Christ and the church. And he is not using this merely as an illustration but Paul is saying that in fact that’s why marriage was created from the very beginning.
Many times this is not mentioned as a reason why people are getting married, yet this is what God designed this for, to be a picture of the relationship of Christ and his bride, the church.
Five times in this passage Paul makes a comparison between Christ and his church. He starts of by saying: wife submit yourself to your own husband as to the Lord. And then he says husbands, love your wife as Christ loves the church and three more times Paul makes that same connection.
And so that nobody will misunderstand this he says again in Ephesians 5:31-32, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
Did you know that the highest purpose of your marriage is not sex though that is a wonderful part of marriage, it is not companionship although I thank God for giving me a life companion that makes my marriage complete. The highest purpose of marriage is to become a picture of the commitment of Christ to His bride, the church.
This is the reality that God has designed. Let’s go back to Genesis 2:24 for a moment. Although Adam and Eve did not have a father and mother to leave to come together, Jesus Christ the Son of God did have a Father to leave and He came to earth to look for His bride, the church, so that He could join and become one with her.
This was in the mind of God at creation! When God performed the first ceremony and gave the first bride away, He established the first purpose of marriage. And if you are not married for that purpose, you are lowering the standard of God and you are compromising God’s desire for your marriage.
This is a picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the most pure picture of the gospel that exists, the most tangible visible representation if we understand that marriage was created for that purpose. And so there is a new motivation for it to be permanent.
The purpose of sex and companionship in marriage by itself will not last, because Satan will always put someone else in the picture where Satan says, “Companionship will be better with this other person and sex will be better with that other person.”
This understanding of marriage being a picture of Christ and the Church gives a different meaning to a wife to align herself under the husband leadership and a different motivation for staying together in marriage.
Let me show it you in Malachi in the Old Testament where the people of God had weakened their worship of Him. Malachi 2:13-16, “And this second thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.”
Do you understand what is happening? They are going through the rituals of worship and in their tithes and offerings and they are singing their songs and they are playing their instruments and they are making offer all that, but it is obvious that God is not receiving this.
Let’s continue in verse 14 But you say, "Why does He not? Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”
Do you see what God says, do you see the present tense in the language? Although you have divorced her and although you are now married to someone else, she still is your companion and your wife by covenant! Don’t take God’s Word lightly on permanence!
Verse15, “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?” says the LORD. Here is God’s creative power at work and how did He do this. Pay attention to what it says, “with a portion of the Spirit in their union.”
Please notice this; there is something supernatural that takes place when a man and a woman come together in a covenant relationship. Among the people of God this is not merely a legal contract! God with His Holy Spirit brings them together in a supernatural way that is intended to be permanent.
Verse 15 continues, “And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring.” So children are a part of God’s plan! Sometimes all that we think of is the effect of divorce on the children and yes that should grieve us. And yes the statistics are devastating.
But do you understand that the effect on kids is not the greatest concern on the mind of God? His desire from the beginning was that marriage would result in Godly offspring. We talk a lot about evangelization and that is correct. But one of the ways we can start is right here by eliminating divorce and having a Godly marriage so we can have Godly offspring.
Verse 15 continues, “So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 "For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously.”
So what does self righteousness say? Jesus explains this every time in all these examples, our sinful nature always lowers the standard of what righteousness says. Hear again verse 31, “It was also said, 'whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.”
Notice: there we see a different attitude in what the Jews of that day were thinking of. They did not think about God’s nature nor His will, or the love between a husband and a wife which cannot change. No, all they thought of was the legal paperwork necessary for them to accomplish the divorce they wanted.
This is the situation today; no fault divorce makes it all possible as long as you agree on parenting rights and financial asset division. That was the situation also back then as described in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Basically a divorce was allowed based on pre-marital sex (in one rabbi’s school) or anything (in the other rabbi’s school).
This issue was much debated then, but we know for sure that it wasn’t adultery. How do we know that? Well the punishment for adultery was stoning, right? There was nothing after adultery because there was no life anymore, right?
But we have to know something really important, God did not condone divorce. Instead it is warning about something that will happen if you divorce her, and the law says that the first husband cannot marry her again. This is about remarriage not about divorce. This is about protection for the woman.
Look at Matthew 19:3-8, here the Pharisees wanted to trap Him. So they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife without any cause.” He answered in Matthew 19:4-6, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
Jesus went straight to what God said, “6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate." He said in verse 8, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” God did not design marriage that way.
Self righteousness always makes a command out of a concession. People always take an obscure passage in the Bible and uses that to take a little incident, a little story and they use that and say, see God allows me to divorce my wife.
Self righteousness always blames God for what He does. The Pharisees wanted to pit Jesus against Moses since they said that Moses was speaking for God. And in essence they said that God said that it was OK to divorce your wife as long as you used the proper paperwork.
Self righteousness always leans towards the most liberal interpretation of Scripture. Self justification always does that. The Pharisees selected the most liberal opinion of the two schools of thought about that subject.
We instead must preserve God’s character and His reputation and His goal to spread the gospel by being that picture of faithfulness in marriage that portrays Christ‘s love for His bride the church, Amen?